Love, Respect and Confidence


Love, Respect and Confidence

Professionals who do school readiness tests often comment on the quiet and unshakable confidence that our Practica children have when they see them for school readiness assessments. The fearless way in which they approach challenges is remarkable, especially since there are so many children who are lacking in confidence.

Many clever children become afraid of failure over time.

When children build their self-image around being viewed as smarter than other children, they develop a perspective on life that social scientists refer to as a fixed mindset. As a result, they typically begin to avoid challenges that may potentially require real effort – as if not getting something right effortlessly will somehow expose them as being less smart (and less worthy) as everyone believe them to be.

The Practica Programme’s unique structure develops the opposite mindset in children.

One activity leads to the next, and the activities become progressively more challenging. As a result, Practica children quickly learn that trying, possibly failing and possibly having to try again are all part and parcel of learning and getting ahead. This way of thinking is called “having a growth mindset”.

When we expect too much of ourselves as parents, we also develop a fixed mindset.

 We become impatient with ourselves and we lose confidence when we have a fixed mindset, because:

Patience with family is LOVE
Patience with others is RESPECT
Patience with yourself is CONFIDENCE.

However, when parents get caught up in trying to live up to their ideal picture of how a good-enough parent lives and acts, they become increasingly self-absorbed. They inevitably fail, and before long, their growing insecurities make them look at their children and family members through the same critical lens. They become less spontaneous and more rigid and emotionally distant.

In contrast to this, happy and effective parents lean towards having a growth mindset.

Having a growth mindset causes parents to also embrace their own mistakes as learning opportunities and it inspires them to face challenging parenting situations head on, believing that they will learn what they need to know and develop the skills that they need, if they try.

Ultimately, letting go of unrealistic expectations is essential for creating a happy home and making real personal progress.

 Songwriter Leonard Cohen’s said it best with these famous lines:

“Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.”


Post written by Lizette van Huyssteen


When we know better … we do better

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